Stop saying you’re sorry.
As a society, we’ve put too much emphasis on apologizing. Especially as women. I feel like we’re made to believe that we have to say sorry for every little thing that may seem appalling. Sorry I curse. Sorry I don’t want to give you my number. Sorry I poop. Sorry I say the word poop. Sorry I’m not wearing make up. Sorry I don’t want to smile. Sorry I’m not wearing a bra. Sorry I’m talking too much. Sorry I called you. Sorry I drank too much. Sorry I want to have sex. Sorry I don’t want to have sex. Sorry I lost my temper. SORRY I’M NOT SORRY AT ALL!
I once had a woman tell me, “As a woman, please stop apologizing” because I said I was sorry for interrupting her conversation. This moment stuck with me. It made question if I was apologizing too much or if she was just being a bitch. But then I quickly acknowledged myself for thinking this woman may be a bitch. Why did I instantly think that? Because she was straight forward and was actually providing me with a sincere piece of advice that many would not? (In truth, she ended up being a bitch, however she spoke wise words).
I slept with a guy who had a girlfriend. Now I’m not innocent in this little story, however I’m not necessarily at fault either. I wasn’t in a relationship with this girl. I didn’t make a promise to be monogamous with her. I knew she existed but I wasn’t the one who asked to come upstairs to my apartment knowing my girlfriend was waiting up for a goodnight text. When confronted by said girl after the truth reared its ugly head into the world, my instant reaction again, was to say “I’m sorry”. Yes, I was sorry that this piece of shit cheated on her (not a proud moment to sleep with another girl’s boyfriend, but loneliness sometimes wins at 4am). However, I wasn’t the one who cheated on her. I didn’t lie to her again and again and I certainly didn’t break her heart or make her doubt her self-worth. Yet, I apologized… Because it’s in our nature. (And I’m still seen as the villain.)
The truth of the matter is we as women apologize way too much for things that may be out of our control, or things we’re actually not sorry for at all. I’m not sorry I rejected your cat calls on the street. I’m not sorry I chose to sleep with you when I didn’t really like you at all. I’m not sorry for being emotional and sending that drunken text at 3am saying I miss you and I’m not sorry for not returning your text at 3am saying you miss me. I’m not sorry for being the person I am and I will not apologize for my flaws anymore because I think that deems me more “feminine”.
Life is fleeting and it’s about damn time everyone stops apologizing for the beautiful mess that we bring to this world. Without our fuck ups, life would be just boring.